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Kintsugi

by Elliott Green

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1.
Blackout 02:58
black out, a poison mouth covered in blood, trying to calm me down spitting vitriol and vomit down the bathroom sink and do you think that it's too broke to fix? a mess that you can't clean that I was made with an affliction you can't treat a pile of broken wires screaming out into a violent symphony is there something wrong with me? the way down, I dragged it out took my time to burn everything to the ground and what's left now? a broken mind and a hollowed out shell screaming that I'm sorry when I don't know what that means and is that me? standing in the street and cursing out your name to make another drunken scene there's something wrong with me there's something wrong with me there's something wrong with
2.
Kintsugi 03:22
I look at you, you look through me am I invisible? a ghost at your party a joke I don't get isn't the punchline obvious? and it's funny how it ends a million times in my mind just to start again want so badly to forgive I wanna let you in how many times can you break my heart? fill in the cracks with gold 'till it all falls apart is there beauty in the pain? in the fractures that remain? so you got the best of me like I knew that you would 'cause I'd do anything that you asked it's no selfless act you know I love a reason to lose out on sleep and it's funny we pretend that there's something to learn in any of this want so badly to believe that it hurts for a reason but I'll never see how many times can you tear me apart before I grow a spine or collapse in your arms? how many more first starts? tell me how many times tell me how many times tell me how many times are you gonna break my heart?
3.
after the lights go down after the deafening sound outside, an invitation you know I'd decline always looking for somewhere to hide in canvases, oh the sterile white I wish I could be honest or even be nice do you hear me when I talk to you? do you just hear the parts that you want to? throwing my voice, an expert in disappearing I guess that it's nice to be good at something when I walk through windows the contents of my skull painting the concrete a violent red do I get to float through the ceiling? dissolve into particles? or do I float around watching my friends? could I start over? beginning to end one more chance to make all the same mistakes again

credits

released March 22, 2024

Mixed by Eric Padget
Mastered by Chris Walla
Photo by Dom Higgins

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Elliott Green Seattle, Washington

I write sad songs.

"Everything I Lack" comes out 01/27/2023 on Count Your Lucky Stars Records

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